Alright, hoebags, let's go.

I’m packing to leave tomorrow for Poland and Israel. I’ll be with Group 6, and we’ll be Group 6 ‘11, So Fly Group 6, and all that jazz.

It made me start thinking of Bus E ‘09. Man, I miss them. It’s two years later, and of course I have spoken to and thought about individual people from my bus who I’m still in touch with. There’s even still been drama with a few of them, when my friend from Florida and I realized we both still liked the same boy from our bus. Ooppss.

But it’s been a while since I thought of us as a whole. Bus E’ 09, in its entirety, not “my friends from Wheels” or “that guy from Wheels.” I just looked at a group picture of all of us for the first time in a long time (we left two years ago in 4 days from now-June 29, 2009). We had so much personality as a group. We were so distinct, so real. There will never be another Bus E ‘09.

I haven’t gotten this nostalgic about wheels since over an entire year ago…definitely at least before last summer. But now that I’m getting ready to spend a summer with about 50 new people, it brings back all these memories. I wish I went on Pilgrimage last summer instead of taking an awkward break year as a camp counselor, but my parents really wanted me to work. Oh well.

Look at us. There’s all the staff, right up front, with our bus driver, Jim <3. There are some of my best friends. There’s that girl from Florida who’s practically my other half. There’s that weird kid with anger management issues. There’s that same weird kid with anger management issues who had to sprint off the bus on the highway to pee in some bushes because he just couldn’t wait. There’s that kid I was in love with for two years. There’s that girl who is coming on Pilgrimage with me and who I’m so excited to see tomorrow. There’s that hot staff, and then there’s the hysterical Rosh, who only wears green every single day of his life.

It’s so weird, thinking about all of this again. Wheels was two years ago, and I’m leaving for Pilgrimage tomorrow. I’m starting all over again, meeting all new people, and going to all new places. But I will never forget these people, those places, and that bus. Collectively, we were such a great group and had so many incredible memories. This nostalgia is really killing me. Why now, of all times? People have been sporadically commenting on our group facebook pictures saying like “oh I miss wheels so much!” or “I miss all of you so much!” and I would just smile and skip past, fond of the memories but still too far ahead in time to dwell on it. Now I’m dwelling, and now I can’t stop thinking about how everything was, how people changed, which people of changed. I wish I could go back to that summer and freeze things in time.

I really, really hope that this summer lives up to the standards Bus E set. Group 6, here we go.

I’m slowly beginning to learn something.

witheredroots:

Things change; people move on. Situations transfigure and a context that was formerly decent for a certain relationship with someone no longer exists. We can try to hold onto what once existed, and we can pretend that things will always be the same. In reality, we know nothing will ever be the same. Things have changed, and certain people have moved on.

What is important to remember, however, is that the fleeting loss of something wonderful does not mean the loss of everything wonderful. More relationships are to come; more people will enter our lives and new situations will develop to provide context for more things wonderful.

While things are changing, the best we can do is the remember not to slip and stumble in the midst of a transforming scene. We knew this would happen…we knew it couldn’t last forever. So the best we can do is falter a little bit, steady our feet, smile fondly at the memories, never forget, but turn a strong head forward to accept the future. Change is inevitable; the way we embrace it is what makes it either difficult, tolerable, or wonderful.

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.

—Arnold Bennett (via kari-shma)

(Source: kari-shma, via witheredroots)

7th Nov 2011

It’s really really painful to watch someone you like fall for someone else.

It’s even more painful when all your friends stopped you and told you to avoid him because he was a “manwhore” and would “never settle down…” yet here he is, settling down, getting tied down, and having a girlfriend…and it isn’t me.